Safe

As a child I was never safe and so I worked hard to make my own home safe as an adult. The feeling of safety was most important to me; safety was a comfortable blanket allowing me to sleep throughout the entire night without fear.

I let you in and showed you my true self. I was vulnerable in front of you; truly naked for the first time in forever. That was my gift to you because I loved you and I meant it when I said my vows.

Then you held me down, laughing in my face, trying to force yourself on me. I tried to fight you off but you were too strong. I got quiet and retreated deep into my safe place and surrendered. But then something brought me back, I screamed and screamed until finally you got off of me laughing. I fell to the floor and at that moment I knew that this was it. I felt the last of my love for you die and then I got up took a deep breath; told you to leave my house and my life.

After changing all the locks and locking the windows I started reclaiming my safety in my own home. I cleaned the house completely removing all traces of you.

Now I feel safe again and I will never make that same mistake again – EVER!!

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