Bachelor Number One vs Bachelor Number Two

This past weekend I found myself with two meet and greets with two men with potential.

Bachelor Number One wanted to meet up Friday evening. I recently read an article that said that when women date they change their schedules and try to include their guy in what they do while men continue with their plans and add the woman into their lives. So at first I was going to skip going to the gym and go see him but then I remembered the article and asked if we could meet up after the gym. He agreed.

Bachelor Number Two wanted to meet Saturday morning. I did not have other plans so no complication there.

On Friday, after work I went to the gym and after I finished I sent a text to Bachelor Number One since I wanted him to know that I was about to go take a shower and then I would be ready to meet him. He did not respond so I called him. He answered with a tired sleepy voice. Weird. He said he fell asleep. He made no mention of  whether or not we were still on to meet. So I asked and he gave some dumb answer. I hung up the phone upset that I didn’t know that he was going to cancel sooner because then I would have attended this exercise class that I wanted to attend. Anyway, my Friday night plans were a bust. Later on, Bachelor Number One sent me a long series of texts saying how he didn’t think I cared about actually meeting up. I was going to be in my gym clothes anyway, it’s not like I was going to get really dressed up. He was going to have to drive for one hour. As I read his texts, I started getting pissed off not because he canceled but because he was listing all the reasons how it was okay because of my actions; instead of apologizing and letting me know his plan to make it up to me. In the end, I blocked him and continued with my life.

Saturday morning I woke up not expecting too much from this second meet and greet. Bachelor Number Two arrived early at our designated meeting spot. I got into his car and we went to the park. We talked and ended up taking a nice walk together. When we started walking, he immediately took my hand into his and we walked hand in hand. For a few minutes I felt self conscious because he is German/Italian and I am not. There were several African American men and I felt that they would judge me or say something about the dark-skinned woman with a white guy. After a few minutes, I said to heck with it! Why am I letting people who are not invested in making me happy dictate my happiness. And so I left that thought process alone and focused on holding hands with Bachelor Number Two as we hiked up a small hill. His kisses were great and by the time we went back to the car I knew that if he asked me on a real date; I would actually say yes! Who knows what the future will hold but I look forward to finding out!

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Neighbor Wars

Didn’t you hear me say sorry?? ………………………                                                                                   You fat b***h, how about you go on a diet, you fat b***h!                                                                 I’m glad you got robbed! Next time, I’m not moving the car, you fat b***h!

For as long as I have lived here, my neighbors across the street, block me in my driveway or block me out of my driveway. Even when there are available spots to the right or left that would not block me. This has been an ongoing thing.

Yesterday, I came home to, surprise, surprise, I was blocked out of my driveway. As usual, I parked, opened my gate and went back to my car. One of my neighbors, a young woman of about 24, came out of the house, said “Sorry” and moved the car. I said nothing. I waited for her to move the car and parked into my driveway. From the way she angerily jumped out of her car and briskly walked over to my driveway, I figured that she might say something crazy and so I got out of my car and waited by the car.

Didn’t you hear me say sorry?

Me: If you were truly sorry then you would change the behavior.

Her: You fat b***h, how about you go on a diet, you fat b***h! Telling me to change the behavior! How about you go on a diet, you fat b***h! I’m glad you got robbed! Next time, I’m not moving the car, you fat b***h!

Me: Have a great evening.

Her: Shut the f**k up! Don’t tell me to have a good evening or a blessed day, you fat b***h!

In between all this, her boyfriend walked outside and walked back into the house. A group of kids came out of their house and stood by the door. Then eventually an older woman came outside and said “sorry” to me.

I told the woman that it was fine. Meanwhile, the original girl told the older woman not to apologize. I finished collecting my items from the car, closed my gate and went into my house.

Fat b***h = I was not mad that she called me that. I am a fat woman but that is not all I am.

go on a diet = I have already changed my eating habits and I work out. But more importantly I set goals for myself in all aspects of my life and I am actively working towards them. This girl, I see her with her boyfriend and that’s it, she is not in school nor do I ever see her go to work.

I’m glad you got robbed = Earlier this year a masked man jumped into my driveway from my neighbor’s driveway (not this girl’s) and robbed my sister and I at gunpoint. I told none of my neighbors because I will not show you my weakness and one of them knows who did it. The masked man was never caught. My mother talked to most of the neighbors and told them that we had been robbed and as expected, no one knew anything. But now they knew that I had been robbed. For this girl to say she was glad that I was robbed, that hurt my feelings because my sister and I could have died. But at least now she exposed who she really was – a stupid person who thinks that she will not be robbed eventually.

Next time I’m not moving the car = So she will continue doing what her and her family and friends have been doing for years now? Girl please, give me a threat that I can care about!

Shut the f**k up! Don’t tell me to have a good evening = I said it once and I was done.

This girl is the same girl who several months ago came running to me asking for help when her boyfriend was almost robbed at gunpoint by some men in a car except he ran away.

The reason I told her that if she was truly sorry then she would change the behavior is because her stupid sorry reminded me of the way my ex-husband would fling the word sorry at me after one of my many detailed investigations concluded that he was cheating on me yet again. He would say sorry, get caught again, I would confront him and he would say sorry and the same cycle would continue over and over. For people like him and her, they believe that by saying the word “sorry” their sins are absolved and they have a clean slate to continue doing the same thing because as long as they say sorry, everything is fine. But it’s not fine. Their words are empty, not sincere and actually insulting.

After she said sorry and came back to say did I hear her say sorry – Girl please, understand that I don’t have to accept your hollow “sorry” and that is my right as the injured party. But in this case she got upset that I did not accept it and began her ill fated attack of words on my person.

My hope for her is that she receives the same courtesy that she has shown me. For someone who is in the wrong to take the moral high ground with her as she did with me. And I wait for the day that she will be robbed (because in the town we live in, it’s not a question of if you will be robbed but of when you will be robbed) and she will come to my door asking if my cameras recorded anything. I will look at her straight in the eye and tell her that my cameras did not. I also hope that she continues to stand by all that she said, I hope that she will never apologize to me because she stands by her words. At that point, I might have a smidgen of respect for her, which will be erased by the next time she asks for my help!

 

 

I thought

I thought that we were friends

Until you took a sledge hammer to my rose-colored gasses and I finally saw what you think of me.

You see as a dumb person, someone less than you; a circus elephant performing tricks for your enjoyment

I was a true friend to you but now                            I mourn the loss of the friend I thought had.