Yup, I still don’t want kids!

My mother and aunt ended up going to Kenya to take my grandmother’s body back home to have her rest in her plot of land next to my grandfather’s grave.

And I volunteered to take care of my aunt’s two kids (my nephews). The original deal was that my sister and I would take turns sleeping at their house at night for the three weeks that my aunt was away. Then my aunt added that we need to take them to church on Sundays, okay fine. Then she added that we need to attend two concerts one of my nephews is in and film them. Wow, this is eating into my me time!

Then my nephew added that he needs a rides to basketball practice. Oh there are two doctors’ appointments we need to take them to. The list started to grow and grow and all I could think about was the none Me time I was going to have!!

I am not the surrogate parent so I should not be expected to take care of them to the level that their mother would take care of them! Think more babysitter instead.

I am not getting paid, I have to spend my money on things they need, I have to sleep on their so very uncomfortable sofa and I don’t get keys to the house!

As the list of mandatory activities increased I realized two things: 1- yup, I still do not want kids! And 2-I don’t know how parents do it! I’m tired over worrying over these kids and I just want my wonderful life back!! One week down; two weeks left to go.

 

No, I can’t pick out that penis in a line up!!

I recently hung out at a friend’s house; a guy passed by and my friend mentioned that he is so and so. I was like okay cool to meet you. After he left my bestie tells me that I know him. I looked at her as I tried to remember said dude but I came up blank.

Later I asked my bestie to fill me in. It turns out that dude; we will call him The Palette Cleanser, had been a one night stand for me. I could not remember him at all. That’s when I realized that I really don’t remember all the dudes I’ve slept with. Unless they stood out somehow like really, really great sex or they were super bad in bed; then I maybe, just maybe I might remember him………. So if there was a lineup of penises and I needed to pick out The Palette Cleanser’s penis I could not.

Later on I remembered the circumstances that had brought me to have sex with The Palette Cleanser. A crap load of years ago, I was single and decided to meet some dude for sex, he talked so much about how amazing he was in bed (that’s when I should have known) blah, blah and I was like okay let’s do this. I met him and the sex was not up to my standards (and yes I blame him). I quickly got out of there with the old “I got an emergency call and I have to go now” excuse. I got in my car, called bestie and told her about the horrible sex I experienced. She told me about this guy who would get the taste of bad sex off of me. I called him and ended up having great sex! When he went to shower, I left without saying good bye and it felt wonderful! In “normal” life a palette cleanser is something that removes the taste of something really strong and then you are ready to enjoy the next meal. He cleansed my palette and so I named him The Palette Cleanser. I never expected to ever see him again but life is funny like that. I don’t think he remembers me and even if he does; hopefully he will continue acting like we just met now because that is my plan……………. And yes I will deny any and all previous knowledge of The Palette Cleanser! Lol!!!!