No, I can’t pick out that penis in a line up!!

I recently hung out at a friend’s house; a guy passed by and my friend mentioned that he is so and so. I was like okay cool to meet you. After he left my bestie tells me that I know him. I looked at her as I tried to remember said dude but I came up blank.

Later I asked my bestie to fill me in. It turns out that dude; we will call him The Palette Cleanser, had been a one night stand for me. I could not remember him at all. That’s when I realized that I really don’t remember all the dudes I’ve slept with. Unless they stood out somehow like really, really great sex or they were super bad in bed; then I maybe, just maybe I might remember him………. So if there was a lineup of penises and I needed to pick out The Palette Cleanser’s penis I could not.

Later on I remembered the circumstances that had brought me to have sex with The Palette Cleanser. A crap load of years ago, I was single and decided to meet some dude for sex, he talked so much about how amazing he was in bed (that’s when I should have known) blah, blah and I was like okay let’s do this. I met him and the sex was not up to my standards (and yes I blame him). I quickly got out of there with the old “I got an emergency call and I have to go now” excuse. I got in my car, called bestie and told her about the horrible sex I experienced. She told me about this guy who would get the taste of bad sex off of me. I called him and ended up having great sex! When he went to shower, I left without saying good bye and it felt wonderful! In “normal” life a palette cleanser is something that removes the taste of something really strong and then you are ready to enjoy the next meal. He cleansed my palette and so I named him The Palette Cleanser. I never expected to ever see him again but life is funny like that. I don’t think he remembers me and even if he does; hopefully he will continue acting like we just met now because that is my plan……………. And yes I will deny any and all previous knowledge of The Palette Cleanser! Lol!!!!

Advertisements